Learning Curve

I feel like I will never be ready to be a mom, then realize I already am. I have so much to learn.

No pregnant mother should be required to speak in sacament meeting on mother's day after a talk about mothers and after being up all night worrying over her own talk. Right? Well, I was pretty upset and exhausted this morning while Ryan was gone to his early morning meeting and I was trying to finish up my talk, get Lily and me ready, and dealing with nerves that were making me irritable. I was thinking about how to most effectively complain about how Bishop had ruined my mother's day, and was still oozing over it as sacrament meeting started. Fortunately, a little angel named Linda Leavitt spoke before me and softened my heart...but to the point that I couldn't stop crying! I got up to start my talk and had to wait a few minutes before I could even read my notes! I slogged through the whole thing, feeling guilty for having been so selfish all morning and realizing what a huge blessing giving this talk was for me. It was on charity, and boy did I need a lesson today.
I asked friends and family for help with this talk (thanks, by the way, to all those who contributed!) and most expressed to me that Charity and motherhood are so obviously linked that this talk should come naturally. Imagine my humility when I as a mother was being the least charitable person I knew on the very day set aside to honor me in my role as mother.
Whew.

Well, since then it has been a wondrous mother's day and I have felt so blessed and loved. Lily did my hair, drew me a picture, and cuddled me while we danced to some soft church music. Ryan cooked all the food and cleaned up after it, rubbed my neck and made me brownies and balloon flowers. :-) Plus he gave an especially sweet tribute during his talk which made my heart melt and caused me to cry even harder.

Our sprinklers are finally functioning, thanks to bro-in-law Brad teaching Ryan the ropes. Tomorrow we plan on re-planting some grass seed and making our yard look decent again. What a project!

I am trying to keep busy this week as Lily has surgery coming up on Friday and the mama is apprehensive about watching her little love be put under and operated on. I probably won't be able to be with her, actually, which might feel harder but is probably better. I don't want to be one of those crazy parents who boss the doctors around thinking they know what is best for their baby. But I sure am ready for it to be over and hope I can take good care of Lily while she recovers.

Ryan is doing classes all summer, so life is still pretty lonely as he studies at night and works all day, but I feel blessed that we will be done a year from now and hopefully starting a seminary teaching job the next fall! Fingers crossed...

Above are some pics of Lily with her cousins...Janelle and Lolly (who love and cuddle her to pieces), and Dalton, Coleman, and Jeric. She loves to chill with the boys and copy everything Dalton does. She is sweet and gentle with baby Jeric and is happy as long as daddy isn't holding him. Good luck baby sister on-the-way...daddy might never get to hold you!

I love all of you. It has been so fun to read comments from those I haven't heard from in a long while as well as from those that I see once a week or so. :-) I am lucky to have such wonderful friends and family.
Happy mother's day!